Who watched absolutely no football in 2013?
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Diego Lugano – captain: Uruguay
1st: Luis Suarez
2nd: Edinson Cavani
3rd: Radamel Falcao
The West Brom man is not the only one who did it by any stretch but he’s the first one I saw. Isn’t it a little obvious, not to mention pointless, voting for two of your international teammates when they’ve both got no hope of winning?
Anthony Hudson – coach: Bahrain
1st: Bastian Schweinsteiger
2nd: Andrea Pirlo
3rd: Mesut Ozil
If you know Anthony Hudson as well as I do, you’ll know he’s something a rebel, who doesn’t play by the rules. It’s no surprise to me, therefore, that the Bahrain coach was one of the few individuals who did not include any of the top three on his podium. Admirable or edgy? Maybe he just likes midfield playmakers…
Lionel Messi – captain: Argentina
1st: Andres Iniesta
2nd: Xavi
3rd: Neymar
“I want to congratulate Cristiano because he was the winner and deserved it,” said a not-at-all bitter Messi, who added that he was injured for much of 2013.
If Ronaldo deserved to win, why didn’t you vote for him you scheming little so-and-so?
Cristiano Ronaldo – captain: Portugal
1st: Radamel Falcao
2nd: Gareth Bale
3rd: Mesut Ozil
If Messi’s mentioned, then the winner himself mustn’t go without criticism for opting for his buddies. Frankly, if Messi and Ronaldo don’t recognise each other as among the best two players in world football, they don’t deserve to captain their great nations.
Hugo Lloris – captain: France
1st: Franck Ribery
2nd: Manuel Neuer
3rd: Gareth Bale
Hugo Lloris comes across as a machiavellian schemer, plotting the downfall of neo-liberalism from between the sticks at White Hart Lane, and he confirmed it with some very “political” votes. First place when to his France teammate Ribery, second to Neuer (Goalkeeper Power!) and third to former teammate Gareth Bale. Did I ‘political’? I meant ‘dull’.
Farad Al Zarraa – coach: Qatar
1st: Cristiano Ronaldo
2nd: Lionel Messi
3rd: Radamel Falcao
Perfectly reasonable voting from the Qatari, wouldn’t you agree?
Until he said this: “I was told by my president to vote for Ronaldo to help Blatter clean up his image as a toke of appreciation for bringing the World Cup here”… Ah, that’s called vote-rigging. And it’s not cool. Best not mention it in public.
Incidentally, Qatar’s captain and media representative also voted for Ronaldo. Corruption…what corruption?
Degu Debebe Gebreyes – captain: Ethiopia
1st: Xavi
2nd: Andrea Pirlo
3rd: Thomas Mueller
Gebreyes’ decision to avoid watching all football – even matches he plays in – since the end of Euro 2012 has made him look rather silly, with veterans Xavi and Pirlo joined on his foolish podium by Mueller, who, while excellent, was outshone by about 10 of his Bayern Munich teammates in 2013. Still, a good try Degu! Best to starting watching footie again in 2014!
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