We are all accustomed to the run-of-the-mill football players names around here. From Lewis Baker, to Anderson, to Johnny Evans, to even Joe Allen…the names are as mundane as can be.
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Wouldn’t you much rather cheer for a guy named Dagoberto than Smith? There was even once a Brazilian player named Creedence Clearwater Cauto. And some countries have it even better with names such as Peter Pander, Danny Shittu, and Danny Invincible.
Without a doubt, some other countries are doing it right with the name game, but have no fear. Surprisingly, there are some boring Brazilian footballer names. Here’s the team of Boring Brazilians…
Goalkeeper: Victor (Atletico Miniero)
Victor has been known as just simply Victor for as long as we have known him as a footballer. He was on the roster for the Brazil World Cup team in 2014.
DF: Douglas (Barcelona)
Douglas agreed to a 5-year deal with FC Barcelona in August 2014.
DF: Cris (Ex-Lyon)
Cris has been known as the “policeman” on the pitch for his authoritative nature. His name screams authority…
DF: Wallace (Flamengo)
At least Wallace (left) plays for a team with a cooler name than his own.
MF: Jean (Fluminense)
Jean has played for the Brazilian National team, flaunting his particularly simple name with his not-so-simple skills.
MF: Nathan (Atletico Paranaense)
Nathan is only 19 and has represented Brazil in the under-17 and under-20 levels. He now currently plays for Chelsea.
MF: Ralf (Corinthians)
Ralf led his former club, Barueri, to its first ever season in the Campeonato Paulista and Brazilian Série A.
MF: Hugo (Ex-São Paulo)
Hugo was once banned from the Brazilian championship for 120 for spitting at an opponent. Now that’s not boring, Hugo.
FW: Alan (Guangzhou Evergrande)
After a successful season last year with his former club, Red Bull Salzburg, Alan suffered a cruciate ligament rupture this past March, leaving him on the sidelines for five months.
FW: Bill (Botafogo)
How someone gets Bill from Rosimar Amâncio is beyond us.
FW: Fred (Fluminense)
Fred scored one of the fastest goals in football history while playing for América Mineiro. He scored in just 3.17 seconds.
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