Read on and shake your head at the weird, wacky and just down-right insane.
The name and the logo of a professional or amateur sporting team means everything to its players and fans.
It’s how they are marketed, how they are seen by opponents and what they look to and are inspired by when they run out onto the field of play.
And while every team can’t be called the Panthers or the Wildcats, although some try, there are simply no excuses for some of the most stupid names in the world of sport.
1. Lewisville High School of Texas Fighting Farmers (High School Team) Where to begin with this train-wreck of a name? For one it would be hard to chant this at a game and it hardly does nothing to dissuade people from stereotypes about the South in America.
2. Mt. Clemens Battling Bathers (High school) What did I just read?
3. New Orleans Pelicans (NBA Team): The newly renamed NBA side was known as the Hornets, and while they were an average side on the court in recent years, at least their mascot looked dangerous.
How can you make a Pelican aggressive looking as part of a logo, take fish away from him?
4. New Zealand Butte Pirates (High School Team) The less said the better.
5. The Leeton Phantoms (Rugby union) This amateur club in south-western NSW in Australia has been at the bottom of their competition for years and it’s easy to see why with a name based on a comic book character,.
Not only do they have a headshot of ‘The Ghost That Walks’ on their playing shorts, but adding to the weirdness they have roman numerals on the back of their playing jerseys.
6. The Parkes Spacemen (Rugby league) Again in New South Wales in Australia, this amateur rugby league club’s name pays homage to the town’s role in the moon landing in 1969.
The large telescope on the outskirts of the town was used to transmit messages to Apollo 11 when it was on the right side of the planet.
Never say that rugby league was not also educational.
7. North Queensland Fury (Football) Nothing says striking fear into the hearts of your opposition like naming your team after an emotion.
However, if the Incredible Hulk supported a team, this now defunct professional team in Australia would have been it for their name and their horrid lime-green kit.
8. Hiroshima Toyo Carp (Japanese Pro Baseball-NPB) Where to start with this? If you don’t know what a carp is, search for a photo and tell us if you would be inspired by that?
Even if Dr Evil of Austin Powers fame mutated them and put a laser beam on their heads, they still wouldn’t be scary.
9. UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs (College) Sounding more like a pest that needs to be sprayed for, the Banana Slugs are just as you would expect in real-life, yellow blobs, how can that be a mascot?
10. King Faisal Babies (Ghana’s Premier Football League) Maybe they have a young average age of their squad, or they are trying to lull their opponents into a false sense of security?
11. Teutopolis Wooden Shoes (High school) fanatix thinks the school really needs to get the funding to give their teams better equipment if they need to make their own footwear out of trees.
12. Frankfort Hot Dogs (High school) OK we know somebody has a sense of humor at this school.
13. Scottsdale Community College Fighting Artichokes (College) Unless Scottsdale plays all of its games in an alternate universe where Artichokes have legs, arms and you know, the ability to ‘fight’ then we’re not buying this.
14. Cleveland Browns (NFL) The name does not inspire fans that the team plays the most interesting brand of football, unless an expansion team comes into the league as the “Greys”.
15. University of Hawaii Rainbow Warriors (College) Now while this name might have some cultural significance, fanatix can’t help but wonder how sides who lose to the ‘Rainbow Warriors’ feel.
16. The MLS (Football) Not to pick on one league too much, but Major League Soccer in the United States deserves special mention for the stupid, vague and blatant sponsorship in many of their team names.
The Chicago Fire, Montreal Impact, New York Red Bulls, Colorado Rapids, Portland Timbers, Seattle Sounders and the Vancouver Whitecaps – told you.
17. Colorado Crush (Arena Football League) Any time your logo is just of the first letter of your team name, you know you’re running out of ideas.
18. Mars Area Fighting Planets (High School) Right, lets just move on shall we.
19. Watersmeet Nimrods (High school) We’ve saved the best for last, the second place going to the Watersmeet High School Nimrods, who, with the stated intention of naming their team after Nimrod, a “mighty hunter” mentioned in the Bible, fail to recognise the word has meant “dumbass” for many decades.
20. Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters (Japanese Pro Baseball) Technically the first three words in the team’s name go together, so technically the name of the side if the Fighters, which is bad enough.
But picture, if you will, a glazed ham with a broadsword going into battle for the pride of their side – we think that’s a lot funnier.
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