Manchester United – Beached whale covered in barnacles
Last season Manchester United were a glorious humpback whale, one of the most graceful and brilliant rorquals in the animal kingdom.
They trapped opposition sides in their bubble net, hunting in groups with the likes of Wayne Rooney and Robin Van Persie some of the most potent goal feeders.
This season, they are a different prospect, with new boss David Moyes a newly acquired set of barnacles over their eyes that has blinded them and sent them off course onto a beach.
Perhaps renowned whale biologist Sir Alex Ferguson might be able to help them back to the ocean.
Oh, and he has a special barnacle removing brush.
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